Date: 30th May, 2011
Constitution Assembly Hall
RE: Constitution (If there is any such thing)
Dear Sirs and Madams,
This brings us great pleasure to inform you that the time limit for drafting the constitution has been extended to another 3 months time. We are sure that this decision will bring immense felicity to you and your family since you can not only draw you your salary and wages without performing any kind of productive work but you will also be able to exercise your power on civilians. We know that you already know the game and have been a pro with 3 years of experience but for your convenience we just came up with a little “to do list” for you for the next three months which might just help you crack the 90 days time limit without just having to doze away on the chairs of CA Hall during meeting.
To Do List for the next 90 days: (Choose any or all)
- Beat the crap out of the government workers and demoralize them.
- Get drunk and create a dramatic event in the middle of the road and in a broad day light and justify it by saying that you only did that because you didn’t get LOVE.
- Make your offspring sit for your exams. (There will be re-exams for those who failed I am sure, just praying its within this 3 months)
- Involve in more diplomat passport scams.
- Promote prostitution and demote constitution
- Play Salman Khan and tear off your shirt inside the CA hall.
These are just some guidelines that you might need to enjoy your “paid”vacation. I also suggest you make all your efforts in making foreign visits because who knows what the day will bring after these 3 months passes. However, my gut feelings tell me that you will get another extension but why take any chances, right?
Please don’t worry about the constitution and the reason you have been sent there. The drafting and ratifying the constitution and addressing the people’s spirit to maintain the long-term peace is not at all important at this stage. What is important is how much advantage you can gain while you have the power to do so. Who cares what will happen to the coming generation and their future, who cares about the security and well being of the citizen and their future and above all WHO CARES ABOUT THIS COUNTRY and its future? We all know it was more than just unfair for to expect you –
- To prepare a draft of constitution and ratify it after discussion.
- To conform the issues to be decided through referendum.
- To take decision on republic through the first meeting of the Constituent Assembly. (Now, Nepal has been declared as republic country).
- To decide state’s restructures in accordance with the federal form.
- To work as legislative-parliament.
These are the country’s most unimportant guidelines that we have sought for you to fulfill. I even think you should file a case against us people for putting you in this situation at the first place. And if you did, I am sure you would win. Actually, we should all be put behind the bars for bringing this day in your life since we all know it’s not your fault that the country after 3 years still doesn’t know what happened or will happen to the constitution.
Lastly, we have enjoyed thoroughly watching all the drama in the CA hall so far. This is by far better than any of the Ekta Kapoor soaps. In fact, I can proudly say this is more exciting than any of the hoaxes created about the existence of UFO’s and Aliens because there are chances of its existence but the “Constitution of Nepal” is non-existent yet everyone believes it does. We anticipate that in the next 3 months you will help us realize that there is no such thing as “Constitution of Nepal”.
Nepali Janata aka “Nobody”