And something strange happened today.
It has been over a month that I have been away from you but there has been no single day or moment that I did not think of you. Its almost like you are here with me every second, almost like a telepathy or something that keeps moving my inner self to the place so far away – with you. I have had moments when I was provoked and lead to think that I wanted to be away from everybody and you but that must be the situations created by us, right?. Now, when I am hundred miles away from you, I long to be with you and it makes me realize how much I love you. There is nothing more in this world that I would want than, to be with you, love you and be there with you. 7+ years of togetherness and I only find myself more in love with you. It maybe the years we have been together or just you with whom I feel this inexpressible comfort and feeling of safe. There have been moments we have hurt each other and so much that we wished this whole special thing we have between us didn’t even exist but of course, we both knew it was but momentary because we are made for each other and that one thing for sure will never change.
Life has so much offer, you know. I have heard people say life is unfair (oh.wait that was me saying it). Now, isn’t that a subjective term? I mean, what is fair? Big house, tons of cash and bank balance..its definitely sounds appealing but hey, happiness can’t be bought and it sure as hell can’t be traded. Happiness is what comes from the inside. I have seen people living in big house but their share of happiness is so little that others seeing them only pity on them and then there are people who have so little materialistically but yet have little to worry about and are thus “happy”. Many a times, there is one thing common between the two…both have wishes. Wishes to have more and acquire more than what actually makes them happy or is making them happy. And 0ften, we are misguided and often its us who do that to ourselves. We take for granted for all the things we have and wish for all those we don’t. One should be happy with the warmth of the sun and not try to reach it. We end up burning ourselves. [and at this point of time I don’t even know why I am into this bullshit talk when all I should be saying that I miss you and I want to be with you.
And something strange happened today. I went to this beautiful place few blocks away from my apartment. There was a river [clean river] flowing by the road, swans and people trying to feed them and making themselves feel good for doing so, the sun had just about the right amount of warmth and couples holding hands and watching the sun go down. Everything was perfect EXCEPT, the beauty and the perfection that lay in-front of my eyes was somehow “vapid”. And I was thinking, had you been by my side this would have been heaven. And I realized heaven is where you are and happiness is with you.
I have decided to leave this heaven for those who are together and come to my own waiting paradise. Maybe I will regret this for years to come and maybe I will not but while all that is taking place, you will be there by my side and somehow I will know and tell myself “being with you is all I ever wanted to do”.